Grow Up and Act Your Age!

When are you going to grow up and start acting your age!?!

Many a frustrated and beleaguered parent finds themselves asking this question as their children disconcertingly revert back into infants. Whether age 6 or 16, they are unable to understand simple requests such as “Hurry up and get dressed”, “No texting at the table”, “Eat your vegetables”, “Get your feet off the coffee table” or heaven forbid – “Will you please clean your room”. Whining, fussing, grasping for excuses. And that’s just the parents.

This refusal to grow up, accepting age-appropriate responsibilities, is fittingly known as “the Peter Pan Complex”, and it doesn’t end when one reaches age 21. All that it means is that along with being demanding, self-centered and non-compliant; they now can drink “legally” in public.  Your cries of, “As long as you are living under my roof…” are muffled out by the angry refute, “I’m not a child anymore!  You can’t tell me what to do!” That is until they get into some sort of trouble and come crawling to you on all fours hoping for a hand back up.

With more college grads moving back home or never leaving, parents find themselves lamenting over the good old days when their kids were helpless babies and not just acting like ones. Now in addition to all the familiar requests they’ve been making in vain for years, they plead - “When are you going to get off that couch and find a job?” Sure we love having them around, but not as obnoxious house guests expecting to be waited on hand and foot, 24/7. By this point, the empty nest begins to look really good.

Young women nag non-committal boyfriends about their maturity while their married counterparts scold their husbands for acting childish when it comes to helping with household chores, changing diapers or treating their concerns and feelings “seriously”. After all – how hard can it be to simply “listen”? And it’s not just men that are slow in developing. For every Peter Pan there is an equally immature Wendy.

It sort of makes you wonder - is there a magic age when we grow up and act our age?

All throughout our lives, we are constantly growing, learning and changing. It’s a never ending process that depends on the individual. No two people accomplish this feat at the same speed, except for twins, and even that depends on social and environmental influences. Some can be wise beyond their years at a very young age.  Others are fall way behind the curve.

Our bodies certainly mature, some looking more distinguished with age.

While others, well…. you’ve got to give them credit for trying.

Aging is fought off with the verbosity that one uses to avoid the morning alarm, bill collectors and the common cold. However, it does have its good points. Time gives us the gifts of wisdom and experience. But does that alone insure social and cognitive maturity?

Well, I guess that depends on your interpretation of the word Maturity. According to Wikipedia:

“Maturity is a psychological term used to indicate how a person responds to the circumstances or environment in an appropriate manner. This response is generally learned rather than instinctive, and is not determined by one's age. Maturity also encompasses being aware of the correct time and place to behave and knowing when to act appropriately, according to the situation and the culture of the society one lives in.”

Hmm… That reminds me of an email I received from a friend. It asked – “Can you guess which organization this is?”

36 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 currently are defendants in lawsuits, and

84 have been arrested for drunk driving during the last year!

Is it the NFL? The NBA? The Film Actors Guild? Nope! Keep on guessing. Give up?

It's the United States Congress; you know, the same supposedly “mature” group that legislates hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line?

I will never forget the day my mother celebrated her 50th birthday. All I could think is “OMG! Fifty years? That’s half a century! Man is she old! She probably had a pet dinosaur as a kid. And sex? Gross!!! There’s no way people that age do it! I’m not even sure it had been invented when she was a teen."  (I was 16 at the time.)

Trust me; I’ve had a big change of heart since then.  It happened when I turned 50, just about 4 years ago.  I didn’t feel “old” and still don’t; in fact, I have never felt younger, freer and with far fewer worries burdening me.  I’m old enough to know better and young enough that I haven’t forgotten how to have fun. 

Just because my husband and I have reached the summit, we are NOT “over the hill”. It doesn’t mean it’s time to resign ourselves to playing bridge, watching the Weather Channel all day, going out for Early Bird Specials, starting every conversation with an update on our bowels, having closed minds and big, open mouths, wearing support hose and adult diapers, driving a big Buick sedan well below the speed limit, and listening to elavator music.

My husband and I love to go to amusement parks. We hit the roller coasters, the wilder the better. We frequent rock concerts, singing, screaming and dancing to the music. Nothing, and I mean nothing beats tail-gating at a Jimmy Buffet concert. Just get out the palm trees, parrots and fins. Put on the grass skirts, coconut bra, Hawaiian shirt and flip flops. Cook up the cheeseburgers, lobster and don’t forget to keep the Margaritas flowing. If you are lucky, you’ll make it to the concert.

Sure we listen to Classic Rock but we also are into heavy metal, acid rock and hair bands. But before you write us off as old, we also like Coldplay, Adele, Bruno Mars and others.  We watch shows like Weeds and Californication. Remember, when it comes to sex, drugs and Rock and Roll – hell, our generation invented it all.

Since we’ve moved to California, I’ve turned into a long haired, bleached beach blonde. I’m actively getting trim and fit, and dress to show off my assets. My husband and I are fortunate. We don’t look our age. Most people mistake us for 40 year olds. I can live with that. Like a fine Napa wine, we keep getting better with age and I plan to keep it that way for as long as possible. I mentioned the idea of having a little “work” done, you know, a nip and tuck? My daughter went ballistic! She feels I need to accept aging. No way! No how!  But check back twenty five years and I'll reconsider it.

She scolds me saying, “Mom! What are you trying to do, compete with me? You’re 54 years old!” Once again those infamous words ring out loud and clear.

When are you going to grow up and start acting your age!?!

I look at her and smile. “Hopefully never, sweetheart!”

“We are the people our parents warned us about.” ` Jimmy Buffett