tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1121778051116192492.post3631186765753617191..comments2019-10-07T11:03:59.772-04:00Comments on Suzanne's Mindscape: Marriage & Obesity - A Growing ProblemSuzannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05640204681045036200noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1121778051116192492.post-66452563417969901232013-07-02T13:39:04.846-04:002013-07-02T13:39:04.846-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Boomer 75https://www.blogger.com/profile/17269922225333144446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1121778051116192492.post-85068024338797149042013-07-01T14:31:42.157-04:002013-07-01T14:31:42.157-04:00This whole post could have been written by my husb...This whole post could have been written by my husband about me. Only I didn't become obese until in by 40's after all my kids were born. It coincided with the fatal illnesses and deaths of both my parents within 4 years. I was working full time as a surgical nurse, taking emergency call, handling four busy children, and not getting a lot of help from my hard-working dairy farmer husband. He worked until 10pm a lot of nights and the kids and house were my territory. I was exhausted, grief-stricken at the loss of my parents, and stopped worrying about keeping my weight down. Casseroles and fast-foods were often what we did due to our busy schedules. I did occasionally go on diets and try to get some weight off, but it was a losing battle. I weighed 118 lb 37 years ago when we got married. I now weigh 250 lb. My husband has been struggling with ED for several years now and uses one of the ED meds to accomplish an erection. However, a month could go by and he doesn't approach me for sex. I can try to initiate it and I get little response. We had a discussion about it last night and he admitted that my weight is part of the issue. He is slender and very attractive at age 61 and many people don't even think he's 50 yet. I too, look much younger than my age. I dress well, and make a good appearance, however, I know he is turned off by my size. I am so tired of struggling with my weight. I am walking with my daughter-in-law, have tried weight watchers, other diets, and it's like trying to blast the weight off with dynamite! It is extremely hard to lose any weight for me. I have had lab work and nothing is wrong with my thyroid, etc. I could cry to think what I have done to our sex life by being so fat. We used to have a very active sex life and I couldn't imagine we would ever have this problem. I also fear having bariatric surgery and wish the diets would work for me. Does anyone have any insight here? I need help! Boomer 75https://www.blogger.com/profile/17269922225333144446noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1121778051116192492.post-39000960892711860192012-08-21T15:26:13.115-04:002012-08-21T15:26:13.115-04:00Sadly, this is my life. At 5'3" and 250 ...Sadly, this is my life. At 5'3" and 250 lbs, my wife looks nothing like the 125 lbs girl I meet many years ago. I still love her very much and we have a great friendship, but I am no longer physically attracted to her. Obviously this puts a damper on our sex life. It still happens 3 to 4 times a month, but it would be daily if it was up to her (which is a source of some frustration on her part and occasional fights - "why don't I want to have sex with her?", "uhh, I just don't feel like it").<br /><br />I'm in better shape now than when we met. Don't get me wrong, I was up around 40 lbs overweight after a few years of marriage as well, but at 6 feet tall that's a different story. I got down to my current weight and the best shape of my life 4 years ago (diet & exercise - mostly swimming).<br /><br />We have 3 beautiful daughters and I can't imagine spending a day away from them plus I am happy with every other part of my life, so I don't consider divorce an option.<br /><br />My wife tells me that she is incredibly happy, aside from not having enough sex but she wouldn't mind getting back down to her pre-baby weight. She has tried many things over the years, but nothing has worked. It is not hormones or thyroid issues, purely diet and lack of exercise. As a human, it's easy to gain weight and damn hard to loose it (especially for women it seems).<br /><br />I think about sex every time I see an attractive woman, then I get depressed knowing that it would never happen (I take my vows seriously, I will never cheat on my wife). I would love to have sex with a fit, energetic, attractive women, like the woman I married, not the woman she has become.<br /><br />If nothing changes, I suspect that once the girls are all off to college, this will cause an incredible strain on our marriage. :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com